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Sisters of St. Francis |
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Written by Eric
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Monday, 10 October 2005 04:23 |
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he
notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES
He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and he drives on
without second thought. Soon he sees another sign, which says:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES
Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real.... Then
he drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On
the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign
next
to the door reading:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun
in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested
in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me."
The man is led through many winding passages and is soon
quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,
"Please knock on this door."
He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin
cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the
cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."
He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling
it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back
in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER |
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Last Updated on Monday, 10 October 2005 04:24 |
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Prevention of STD's |
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Written by Eric
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Sunday, 09 October 2005 18:40 |
The Towson University Towerlight newspaper has an amusing article
on STD's and prevention methods. The part that made me laugh was
about the clingwrap for women at the end of the article.
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Towson University Rocks |
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Written by Eric
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Wednesday, 05 October 2005 17:50 |
Towson University has set aside a parking lot
for tailgating before(and during) the Homecoming party. Officials
were giving those over 21 bracelets so that police wouldn't bother them
if they were drinking in public. The party included some beer
pong, cooking out, and lots of drinking. Several students were
caught peeing in public. Instead of ticketing them the officer
made them an offer, do 25 pushups or get a citation. Now why
can't the regular police do this?
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Martial Law? |
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Written by Eric
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Wednesday, 05 October 2005 17:25 |
Recently President Bush sent a proposal
before Congress to allow the President(in this case him) to use the
military on U.S. soil under extreme circumstances. He cited a
potential avian flu outbreak as one possible use for the
military. Because of the need for quick quarantine of infected
persons and increased law enforcement presence the military could be
necessary. This is a scary proposal. While I think that the
military is efficient, the local law enforcement and National Guard are
around to handle matters on U.S. soil. Allowing the military to
operate on U.S. soil could yield increased paranoia among the people as
well as giving entirely too much power to the President without need
for Congressional approval. I have little doubt that Congress
will turn down this proposal but it will be something to watch closely.
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Serenity Earnings |
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Written by Eric
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Monday, 03 October 2005 15:43 |
Well it appears that Serenity
did ok for its first weekend. The earnings were likely no where
near what fans would have hoped for. With the next two films
relying on high enough earnings things look to be borderline as of
now. Hopefully the numbers will keep growing quickly.
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Why Math is Taught in School |
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Written by Eric
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Monday, 03 October 2005 15:15 |
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to
avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his
arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid," I
thought to myself.
I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does
anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the
bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars
every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4,000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In
any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70 percent describe their love life as
dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
According to the National Institutes of Health, 22 percent of all females
have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
And 34 percent describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33
According to the National Rifle Association, 5 percent of all females carry
weapons, and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has
a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Flip one off? I think not...... |
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Cruelty |
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Written by Eric
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Monday, 03 October 2005 14:26 |
In an act only the French could allow ,
dogs and cats are being used as shark bate. No, not dead ones,
live dogs and cats. The animals are hooked through the nose and
legs with sharp fishing hooks and dragged behind the fishing
boats. The animals being used are reported to be strays.
The cruelty is taking place on the French controlled Reunion
Island. Maybe we should start hooking the French through the nose
and legs and dragging them behind boats instead.
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Last Updated on Monday, 03 October 2005 14:51 |
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Sweet Serenity |
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Written by Eric
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Sunday, 02 October 2005 17:14 |
Got a chance to see Serenity
this weekend. Incredible movie. Some major twists I could
have done without but I suspect there is hope of a couple more
movies. The current rumor I've heard is that the creators are
planning a trilogy if the demand is high enough. Here's hoping.
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Page 27 of 27 |
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